Sid's Mega Dump
by hockeyfanmaddy
Summary: It has been a week since Sidney Crosby last took his dump. Needless to say, his dump got its revenge... Yes. There is scat.
1. The Lord Stanley of all dumps

It has been a full week since Sid took a dump. All that roadtripping and playing alike has kept him from nature's call.

His body has tried everything in its power to warn him: tummyaches, gas, indigestion, you name it! Now, it has been 7 days. Within his gut was to be the largest, most painful dump he will have to take. Even worse, it's gonna happen _today._

Sid's guts warned him long enough, now Sid finally noticed. How? At practice.

"Uh, guys. I'm not feeling well. I think I'm gonna--" Sid drops his stick and abruptly leaves, his tummy growling like a pissed-off beast.

"Oooh, _not gonna make it!"_ His bowels were winning, bad.

 _"Oooh,"_ Sid clenched his gut as a cramp surged through it.

"I can feel it coming _ouuut!_ "

Like the light at the end of a tunnel, there it was, the Pens' locker room, and within that locker room, was The Kid's throne.

"Oh, yes! Yes! _Yessss!"_

Sid barged into the stall, dropping his equipment/uniform/pants/undies to the ground, his ass making a gentle _*poot!*_ upon meeting the cold, white porcelin.

"Oh, ummph, _ahhh."_ Sid concentrated upon shoving that intruding waste out, even if it killed him. And _was it huge!_

" _Oooh! Oh god, here it comes!"_ His pink pucker stretched itself open into a hole, and the week's worth of shit made its descent.

Sid tried to be as quiet as possible, with all this pain, only being mesmirised by the gentle, sort of crackling noise of the turd leaving his system. Once he felt the mass hanging mid-log out of him, he pushed again.

"Oh baby, _*sharp exhale*."_...to have the first tough poo be shot out into the bowl with a _ker-PLUNK!_ Crosby shivered as his entrance shrunk shut, then whimpered at the stinging, fiery pain of it becoming an exit again. Multiple soft thuds and plops were emitted by The Kid's bowels having _their_ own little form of overtime.

His colon/ bowels groaned in agony as the grand finale, the mother of all dumps, the Lord Stanley of all dumps, whatever you called it, was here. Sid's hole was already gaping, the monster log creeping its way down his colon.

"Ohh, _owwww!_ Something's coming out, and I'm scared to find out what it is!"

At the moment, the mammoth poo had reached Sid's balloon knot, and began _its_ descent. Crosby pushed, pushed, PUSHED, caring less if he made it out of this alive or not, stretching his hole until his eyes teared up, lightheadedness made The Kid nearly lose conciousness. Yes, Crosby almost passed out from dumping ass.

Once the girth and length tapered down to the end of the turd, Sid finally could see the light. His week-long, nearly life-ending dump was OVER!

 _*Plip-plop!*_

Sid just _had_ to look at his bowels' hard work, and admire it, every last, girthy inch. I'd rather not explain _that_ , should I?

"Wow, I can sure keep a lot in me!"


	2. Chapter 2

Sid casually flushed his mess, only to have another problem arise: clogging.

The last, thick poo was too big for this poor, innocent latrine to swallow, so it just sat there, lodged in with the balled-up toilet paper at the drain.

"Oh god, oh no, what do I do?" There were, unfortunately, no nearby plungers, so Sid's mind hatched an unfortunate, and rather disgusting method.

"Oh no, not _that!_ Well, I guess I'll have to." He rolled up his jersey's sleeve as far as it would go, and... _reached in to grab his poo._

"Eww, it feels so awful!" As he grabbed the mass, the warm, smooth sensation of the thing started to get him into feeling it. Much to Sid's surprise, the log was, in fact, thick enough to just lodge itself in that hole. Crosby pulled on the crap, it slowly sliding back into the bowl.

"Eww, ew, ew, _ewww!_ "

To make it go down, Sid had to do something even worse than what he was doing now...

The waste felt rather thick than soft, being it's well, _thicker_.

"Oh my god, eww!"

Sid thought:

 _Well, if it's the only way for it to go down, I gotta do it!_

Finally, his dump was smooshed up like a putty. It went down like nothing.

"Ugh. Thank god that's over."


End file.
